#but i can’t really get much of that atm
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Ok. I think it’s time we talked. About Uranium.
You see I actually know a thing or two about it. I love science. And the idea that rottmnt Donatello, can’t get any. Well… you can BUT it. And get more for your buck than you may assume. And it isn’t as dangerous as you think! (I’m not mad, I swear!) But! It IS a great, powerful source of energy.
Uranium comes in rock, and powder, yes powder. Uranium glassware that glows if you’re feeling fancy.
So we need to ask. Can Rise Donnie convert it, the price, and can he get enough of it?
First. Donnie is primarily an engineer. Plus he has a love for botany. BUT! He has stated “Geology stinks”. It’s a boring science to him. And we neurodiverse folks can’t focus on and forget things we aren’t interested in. So? He’s SMART! Surely he could get past this hurdle for something he’s clearly passionate about right?
What’s more, conversion is chemistry. Well we don’t see him so much of chemistry either. But! It is implied with the deleted episode where he was submitting a giant pumpkin into a contest, that he modified it. And THAT’S chemistry. So we’ll file this into “very likely”. Even if there was a LARGE chance it was gonna grow a mouth and attack everyone…
So. The price. US citizens are only allowed to legally purchase up to 3.3 pounds of uranium, and have a limited amount they can own. But for a low $50-100! You TOO! Can get a box of rocks!
Perhaps this is a main reason why he started his secret Stark tech company, WITH an apparel line! Considering he was counting a heap of cash. I think he was doing well off it. (Though perhaps he was struggling with it after Shredder wrecked the lab.) Plus with SHELLDON shown stealing from ATMs apparently being a thing. I don’t think money is an issue.
(Though considering he “didn’t have money” to give to Mantis, he could a. Been hiding his money so his bros wouldn’t find out/also not give a villain money. B. His company isn’t accessible to the public (yet?) and he actually stole it from an ATM or something.)
So. Can he get enough for what he needs? He probably needs a lot of it right?
The thing is. Uranium is abundant. REALLY abundant. You can mine for it yourself. So, surely a “reasonable” demand to ask for!
But perhaps this is why he spent so much time, and effort on a giant … drill.
So I can only conclude that: Donnie is banned from uranium by his family. “It’s not as dangerous as you think!” He shouts. But woe is the mad scientist with questionable intentions!
(Imagine him begging Leo to use his sword to teleport him to a mine. Pfft!)
And so, he’s been slowly, slowly, collecting uranium samples. Has him hidden away. Changing his information every time to hide his intentions from the FBI and government. While developing ways on mining it himself.
There’s literally no excuse for Donnie not to get his hands on uranium. It’s not a matter of IF. Just WHEN. He will get his hands on uranium.
So WHAT. Is his first use for this? Perhaps… a titanium Ironman suit fueled by a miniature nuclear reactor!
#I’ve been meaning to make this for a while#rise donatello#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#uranium#get in dum dums#get in dum dums notes#tmnt#Donnie#Donatello#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles
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the transgender urge to curl up like a small fluffy animal against someone you love’s warm body and make little mewling and sighing and whining sounds as they pet you and praise you for having tried so hard to be human until you fall asleep
#it’s one of those days#it’s one of those nights#i’m fine and everything is ok rn. but my brain is kind of not working great#i feel so… limited. like there’s a lot i want to do but my energy and focus just isn’t there#and my emotions are just always lowkey sad and lonely rn#so i’m just desperate for physical affection#but i can’t really get much of that atm#i just want to cuddle for an hour with someone#maybe more#*tired and sad puppy noises*#personal post
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jafar raised jay to be slippery and selfish but jay knew there was strength in numbers and decided to trust and love and hope despite everything else. and he protects these people that he finds, the only things his father can’t take from him, his own treasure he guards like the lion’s head at the cave of wonders.
he’s the last one out, there to watch their backs, as close to them all as their own shadows. he’s their third eye, always hyper-vigilant, always on the look out. he knows when to start a fight, and when it’s best to leave it alone. it’s nearly always best to leave it alone. he wrangles them all back in, keeping them safe so they don’t have to worry about injuries or repercussions or consequences. his job is to keep them safe, and keep them alive.
and yet, in auradon, with no brawls or street fights or leering parents or turf wars or rivals or enemies, what is there to protect them from? passive aggressive comments? pastels? afternoon tea? what is a guard dog with nothing to guard? jay has built his entire life, his entire self, around servitude. if it’s not his father, it’s his gang, always the helping hand and the shoulder to cry on (metaphorically, of course) and the reassuring presence. without any of that, he is nothing.
he is the thief that gives. the boy desperate to hold on to his only sense of purpose. it’s all he knows: give enough away and they might let you stick around. chameleonic, knowing exactly who to be where and when. the charmer, the heartthrob, the villain, the protector, the liar, the snake, the attacker. anything you need. he can be anything at all, as effortless as breathing.
#ANYWAY#where the hell did that come from hello#i just think that jay having no sense of self#because his entire life has been spent giving himself away!!!!#idk like he learned from jafar that ‘love’ and ‘protection’ is conditional#he had to be good enough - had to be PERFECT#and so with the gang it’s like. he cannot afford to be anything other than that strong & unwavering anchor#he’s unfazed by everything#he makes jokes and doesn’t take things seriously bc he can’t express what he’s really feeling#he’s trying to relieve the tension#it’s shielding the true paranoia and fear and guilt he’s feeling#and GAAHHHHH. JAYYYYYYY#like he just cares So Much. all of his actions are bc he just loves his gang so much and he wants what’s best for them#and he will get that with any means possible#i could literally go on forever about him#he’s been sidelined atm bc of my new hyperfixation but i am ALWAYS ready for a jay rant#descendants#jay son of jafar
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I truly can’t believe I have to say this but I am so so sick of some people my age (namely those who are tiktok users, and therefore are deeply influenced by “woke” stereotypes about queer people and queer identities that are often perpetrated on that site) telling me that it’s weird to talk about growing up as a female or about experiencing sexism because I’m not a girl? and that it either “makes it seem like I’m not really queer” when I talk about my connection to girlhood or that these things “shouldn’t concern me.” because they very much do and that’s such an ridiculous and inconsiderate thing to say.
I was afab and whether I wanted it or not I was treated like a girl and experienced childhood as a girl. I am not out to many people in my life and in their eyes I am a girl.
as a genderqueer person I still experience and feel very connected to my girlhood and the solidarity that I have among girls and women because of shared experiences despite not often identifying as a girl myself. this is because of many factors including socialization, oppression and personal identity. truly can’t believe most people I know (and quite a lot of people online as well) still don’t understand that the oppression I have experienced as a queer person who was afab and the oppression I have experienced being seen as a girl are interconnected and that we have to address multiple layers of discrimination simultaneously if we want anything to change. this is. not new information. I can’t believe people don’t get this.
#like there’s a very obvious regression to backwards gender roles on tiktok atm#and this affects people who don’t identify as female or male as well because if you have your girl boss girl dinner bimbo queens#and your borderline abusive masculine energy manly men#then nonbinary people are put into this third easy to understand category of#uwu they/them no gender goblincore inhuman elf cuties#and obviously this is as harmful like the other two because it generalises and stereotypes real people into toxic trendy groups#but it’s also harmful because people will think that if you are one of these then you can’t be another#cis gay men get a pass on tiktok and are allowed to be slay queens as well#but if someone is trans than they have to act very stereotypical of their gender or they’re questioned#I have seen this far too much in tiktoks to pass it off as a few harmful users and not the marjority#bc it really is the majority#and if it was only like that on social media I would care less but people literally act like this irl everyday#my aerial class in particular is really bad for some reason#every signal teenage girl there acts like this and says really harmful stuff and I’m just like#do you hear what is coming out of your mouth ???#and they have pronoun badges even tho they’re apparently cis and dyed hair and the like#which I think makes them think they look like woke gen x girlies#but doesn’t help them with actually being normal and respectful to other human beings#from the groups they apparently support#shit I really ranted here but I’m so fed up#sexism#misogyny#girlhood#nonbinary#anti tiktok#tiktok critical#gen z#mine#genderqueer
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Ducc demanding to be TheDad is probably the funniest thing from the show
to me anyway
#🦆🐾#dhmis#‘I am ur dad’ ‘but I already got a d-‘ ‘I AM DAD I AM DAD I AM DAD’#**crushes his hand 2 death**#he’s such a teenage girl I hate him so much (( affectionate ))#this is literally one of the last few images I have of Them and it was done what………….years ago now?? idk man passage of time is wack man#don’t really wanna put this in the dhmis tag but tumblr works like poop so to categorise junk I gotta tag#I’m still petrified that ppl will regonize me and my junk but I can’t keep hidden under my bush if I wanna get better#ps I have a backlog of old stuff I gotta put somewhere#im using an iPod touch atm to access this place so I can’t really make my blog pretty without a puter#I sold it cause I wanted a scooter#I am responsible with my belongings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if it’s obvious by now I like talking in tags#that’s why I hated twitter cause numbers were gonna get me also I can blabber all I want here lol#musk won’t let me blabber cause he hates my autistic swag
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ok so the thing is I’m trying to be very chill about the uni girl cuz I asked her if she likes girls and she replied she only likes men. But the things is she’s constantly flirting with me and I’m falling for it. She’s flirted with me more than any girl In this would always touching me and teasing me and keeping it cuuute!! I can’t really get upset. I’m just thinking that maybe more ppl should be like here idkkk
#Txt#like I can’t get upset#She invited me to her baby cousins birthday with all her family I had so much fun#i was trying to keep it cool and light by flirting back which I obviously couldn’t do I went directly for the hips#Sorry I can’t be lowkey about the ppl I like she backed away but later came back to be all cute ☺️💗💗💗aaaah I can’t take it!!!!#Maybe she just enjoys seeing me get shy when she flirts with me so she keeps doing it lol#Idk man overall so far I haven’t really been able to get upset I’m also just sooo deprived of love atm maybe that’s why
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Mfw older white people are complaining about how “the way young people talk these days is ridiculous” and I take a look and the speech they’re referring to is just AAVE or queer slang
#Saw someone in a Britney Spears thread of all places complain that calling people ‘mother’ is creepy#And then people explained that it comes from ballroom and they all got downvoted and bullied#Imagine being a Britney stan and being homophobic it’s such a contradiction#I can’t really speak on AAVE as a white boy#Although I do realise that there’s a lot of intersection between AAVE and queer slang due to ballroom#But the fact cishet white people are using it all the time now and it’s getting called ridiculous and being made fun of… sigh#How about we just don’t make fun of how people talk ever. How about that#You can imagine the hell people give me for the way I talk from being queer and Northern#I feel even worse for black people with how much flack AAVE gets especially#Like regardless of whether people know its origin or not… making fun of how people talk is just a dick move innit#Woo there’s a big conversation to be had here that I’m too tired for atm#aave#queer slang#queer culture#ballroom culture#queerphobia#homophobia#racism#anti blackness#xenophobia
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this shoudve made the movie soundtrack
#i didnt really like barbie all that much#but i also. wasnt expecting to#i liked elements of it (ryan gosling funniest man alive atm)#but overall it was just. kind of boring and fell flat#and its a shane its hard to find legitimate critisism of it#bc theres sm reactionary conservative crap#but it was just. the definition of 'self awarness is not a virtue'#like yeah you made a comment abt how margot robbie is pretty so the beauty standards commentary feels silly#and you present critisism of your product as an over zelous 13 year old who comes around#and the commentary on mattel as a brand feels so fake bc it is!!! they signed off the script#and nothing drastic gets said#bc social problems are good and trendy so you can’t not put them in#but it’s just. capitalism will eat everything even the criticism of itself#and in the context of this concerning trend where every not feminine woman is accused of internalized misogyny#the only way out of which is to conform and become feminine#a movie like this is borderline disturbing in some ways#idk i wasn’t really expecting much bc 1. it’s a glorified toy commercial 2. it’s greta gerwig#but the way it’s being framed as a feminist piece of media… be for real#verilybitchy made a great video on it#📓
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oh. things went about as poorly as they could have this morning btw.
#i’m so tired#tired as in sleepy and tired as in i really don’t know how much longer i can endure this life#can. a. girl. catch. a. break.#apparently not 😐#im tired i’m hungry my stomach hurts my head hurts#i’m confused and i’m sad#i can’t even say i wanna die atm like i truly just want to lay here forever#and never get up#i don’t wanna sleep even like i just wanna lay here and kinda. stay forever#idk#things aren’t getting better they just aren’t and i’m tired#okay#snow.txt
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I wish my brain would just let me be okay with the fact that I’ve been sick for two weeks and resting was just as important as feeling productive.
#I can’t get out of bed#I’m feeling better today but I can’t seem to get up and be productive#I don’t really have a schedule atm…#I have so much to do and it’s overwhelming#and I don’t have anymore medication#I’m really feeling it now mr.crabs#rant
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I swear I’m working on art it’s just taking a long ass time bc I have A LOT OF SHIT to catch up on. Um also it’s another hypoparents things sorry
#also mega gay um not so sorry about that#I want to finish it so bad but every time I do I am put back to work on my actual important things#which is good so I’m not even more behind but incredibly frustrating#all I want to do is finish these cats but nooooooo#anyways I also only want to draw mothwing so um that’s what’s happening#can feel a little bit of a breakdown teetering on the edge of my mind but I’m avoiding it#would rather not breakdown. if it does happen atleast I knew beforehand#ruse rambles#I am very rambley bc I don’t want to go to sleep I hate sleep it is very stressful for me#having to wait for it to take over is the worst but also waking up paralyzed from nightmares sucks#it’s not like sleep paralysis it’s my brain thinking someone is behind me and if I move one bit they’ll attack#so Im stuck there willing myself to jsut swing around and get up#also can’t sleep facing the other way bc I roll and throw shit at night#then I wake up bc my blanket and pillow are gone#also also think my mom might be uh in bad health atm her coughing is getting really bad and she keeps#puking form the coughing. little sister is not helping with her constant fighting and trying to get out of school#moms on the edge of sending her off to therapy lol kinda funny but also not bc she’s causing so much stress on everyone#I’m going to shut up before I cap out on tags also need to write my daily report tjing so I’m going to do that bye sorry for the tags :)
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nightmare saga part idk too many
#this sleep is ruining my day-to-day life atm#with my waking up screaming nightmares I am exhausted the entire day and can barely do anything#the nights without those I get just enough rest that I’m in a bad mood and short-tempered bc I’ve gotten too little sleep#but enough so that the energy to be in the bad mood is there#and like i try my very best not to be in a bad mood and let it affect everyone around me and myself but it’s just so hard#bc I’m so freaking tired and exhausted and just want to sleep#I want a good night’s sleep#I can’t remember the last time I actually had an entire night worth of good sleep#July? or August maybe#I’m so exhausted and tired and I just want to sleep#now I’d settle with enough sleep so I can manage my mood and not be snappy with everyone#that’s all I’m asking for#I can sleep terribly as long as I have that much energy#well no my home is falling apart it’s so messy#I’m eating way way too much sugar to just to try and get through the day which is not good#I’m running out of finished meals in my freezer as well#so I really should cook before I’m standing here without anything bc I’m too tired to cook#but I did do laundry today so at least I’ve got clean underwear and socks now for another three weeks which is always something#oh and we’re not even gonna touch on the pain aspect of it all bc who has the energy to care about that
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I LOVE putting all my effort into my friends and relationships and getting nothing in return! I’m so HAPPY I get to be everyone’s rock and be there for them but not a single person can even say if they wanna spend time with me on my birthday!! I’m so HAPPY the people in my life treat me like this 🥰🥰💕💕 im sure I deserve it as is anyways
#vent#angry#anger#frustration#frustrated#I’m genuinely pissed atm#why can’t people be nice to me? god forbid I get treated with human kindness#sometimes I really just hope I’ll die#so much easier than being alive man
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…
#secret diary cause cant be bothered to look for my journal n grab a pen#but#been thinking about something a lot n its giving me a lot of anxiety/ bringing back memories from the past#had a convo with my mom about what happened n how i felt n it DID help talking about it#but i still cant get it off my mind so i think i need to talk to my dad#gotta prepare for it too cause i know im gonna cry n hes probs gonna call asking if everythings okay#its not an easy conversation to have but i feel the need to say something#im having trouble sleeping at night bc of it n i hate being alone with my thoughts atm#actually i dont think its a hard convo to have#its quite easy cause i know what i want to say but i dont think my dad truly knows how bad men are/ can be n how much i hate men#i just can’t articulate my words properly n i feel very strongly about this subject. words just never come out n i get overwhelmed#n lowkey im trying to avoid the convo- like i wanna send a text even though i should call or go see my dad in person like how i told my mom#however i have to speak or else i will likely never get this off my chest again n im struggling rn#so i am reaching out cause i know i can rely on my dad but this convo is gonna lead to another#i had smthing typed in my notes but i started crying while writing it#crazy cause you never really know who people are esp family#been watching movies all day cause music aint enough to keep my mind from wandering
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#I cannot decide.#bc I know I would be miserable at home bc my parents house is a mess i don’t get along w my sister#I don’t drive so I can’t get around anywhere w/o my parents none of my friends are in my hometown anymore#there isn’t any room for my stuff anymore bc my mom&sister are borderline hoarders and took over my old room w their surplus stuff#BUT I would save so much money for a year. and that’s really the only pro in the scenario#so if anyone’s been in this situation before i would love some advice !!#and my friends all say stay bc most of us are living in nyc atm and having fun lol so it’s not objective
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I wish I could assimilate I wish I liked parties I wish I liked new restaurants I wish I liked to try new foods I wish I could participate in “fun” I wish I liked to go clubbing I wish I liked casual sex I wish I liked men I wish they’d like me I wish I liked to casually drink I wish I could drive I wish I could play beer pong I wish I could get wasted I wish I could be desired I wish hot people would hit on me more I wish I’d dress scandalously but noooo I just have to have autism spectrum disorder and nooo I have to be ra valerie and nooooo I have to be on like 4 different meds…it’s so disheartening seeing even the most similar people to you get to have fun and party while you do your best to stay happy in boring lame ways that don’t involve thrills or romance or sex…everyone makes it all look so fun and freeing. I wish I could feel like that
#valerieisms#autism has limited so much of my life because I genuinely melt down in these situations#I can’t stand people who make light of it without acknowledging how shit it is to have#because now people are like I’m autistic! (perfectly assimilated and completely unaffected by a hyper sensory world)#because . what.#cats? Steven universe? social anxiety?#try being completely alienated for the rest of your life dude#I hate being that person but god autism is not silly it is genuinely the bane of my existence and I wish I could be normal every damn day#I DONT WANNA HEAR BE YOURSELF!!!#I AM MYSELF!!!!#FRANKLY MYSELF IS FUCKING BORING OUTSIDE OF MY TALENTS!!!!#I DONT DO ANYTHING FUN!!!!!!!!!!#LIKE REALLY FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!#REAL FUN KILLS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#to the real ones who can’t get a dx atm I feel for you honestly#I can’t stand self dxers acting like the face of autism online (misinforming and the like…even dxed autistic people do this shit always)#but like#the rest of you…#who are socially alienated and completely unable to truly assimilate…#ugh. I’m with you man.#I’m prof dx and I’m fucking with you#I know someone who’s prof dxed autistic who is in situations I could never be in because of my autism and seems so assimilated#it makes me feel stupid.#I mean they don’t speak about it well. their idea of autism is extremely misinformed#but how come they can do that and I cant.#I get the autistic experience varies drastically#but I really don’t understand…I want to#but I don’t#I envy them#help me…
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